yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
