I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
