doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
