apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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