and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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