highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Damn victory sex feels great
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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