Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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