i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
