Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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