please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
