I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
