I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
