I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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