What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
