i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
