smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
