i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i now understand why vodka
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
