K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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