You smell like stripper and shame
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
