It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
