You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
