Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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