i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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