I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
