Your tits are I can't wait for
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
