lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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