she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Boobs speak an international language.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
