Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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