if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
