Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
