strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm at about main and main street
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
