I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
