Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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