tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize