ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize