So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is it fun? or sober?
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