So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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