why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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