Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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