I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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