six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You made out with two different species that night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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