I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize