Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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