So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
jump out the window naked night went bad
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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