haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize