can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
