dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
