Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
