if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
