Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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