Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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