I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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