The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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