I hate all girls vehemently.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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