You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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