did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
