I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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