Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
