Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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