i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
